every morning i get up and think, have i changed much from yesterday?
have i become more compassionate or more selfish
have i become somebody i would hate or somebody i would love
have i become stronger or weaker
the answer to which is yes i have changed
but exactly in what way have i changed??
i cannot seem to understand that

nobody knows you better than yourself; is this true?
then i donot know myself at all..
is that so bad??
would it not be better to surprise yourself with your own actions??
would it not make life much more interesting..?

sometimes i'm lost in this world and dont feel like i belong
does everybody feel that??
if yes, does that mean i am the same as everybody else??
and does that not mean that i belong perfectly??
and in accepting my belongingness(?)
have i lost my uniqueness??
was i unique??
and if i wasn't would i like to be??

man is a social being, we cannot live without company
yet we go about starting wars and killing each other..
isn't that going against our very basic need for other people's company??
then too why do we go along hurting others??
is it that we are so confused??
and donot know ourselves??

these are just few of the many questions that haunt me throughout the day and only disappear when i fall into a deep dreamless sleep..
i wonder, can i ever be rid of them ??


(PS dont freak out.. i'm not always plagued by depressing thoughts i'm a very happy person but sometimes when i'm in a unguarded state of mind these questions keep recurring in my mind..
i'm pretty sure others have had these thoughts too..)